We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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