WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
