Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize