so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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