what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
