So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You ruined the universe
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
