Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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