how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize