and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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