CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
