somebody snuck up and got me drunk
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I need moral support for this bender
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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