should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
