I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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