I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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