Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Hippo gnu deer
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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