i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have tasted many bathrooms
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize