We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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