If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
