I wish I could teleport
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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