it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
