Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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