just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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