We won't sleep together?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
