Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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