I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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