Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
