i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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