whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
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