Why are handjobs necessary in class?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize