New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
