the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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