I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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