Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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