Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
