We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
