We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
