He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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