everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
