worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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