dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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