What a fucking waste of an outfit
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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