No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You were trust falling into bushes
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
