shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
how drunk are you?
Several
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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