Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
