I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
