I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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