You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
