so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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