But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
