This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
