But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
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An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
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YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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