I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
