i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
