I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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