just tell him i said nine months
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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