Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
