3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
