Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
is wine microwaveable?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
