We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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