I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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