You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
