she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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